


Seventy-Two Day Hold

by castielanderson



Category: Marvel (Comics), Young Avengers
Genre: Depression, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 12:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1779715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielanderson/pseuds/castielanderson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Billy attempts suicide for a third time - this time without some act of nobility to hide behind - , Loki and Teddy decide it's time to take action.  The Young Avengers come to a standstill, trying their best to care for Billy, as well as make him feel like life is worth living again.  And if they get a little extreme, who can blame them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seventy-Two Day Hold

**DAY 0**

“How’s it looking, David?” Tommy asks, peering over his shoulder at a currently unconscious Noh-Varr.

David sighs, keeping two fingers against the inside of Noh-Varr’s wrist.  “He’s not dying, but it doesn’t look good,” David answers gravely.  “He’s going to need time to recover – if he can.”

Twenty feet away, Billy swallows hard.  His hood is pulled up over his head, covering his face.  His arms are crossed protectively over his chest, and he stands away from the team, looking out across the vast wasteland and blinking hard against the burning in his eyes.

Everyone will tell him it’s not true, but Billy knows this is his fault.  Things like this are always his fault, because he can’t commit when he’s actually needed.  He’s stupid, selfish, far too self-centered to be considered a part of this team, and he knows it.

“Billy.”

He doesn’t turn.  It’s Teddy, of course, and moments later Billy can feel Teddy’s large, but gentle hands gripping his shoulder.  He shrugs away, and Teddy sighs.

“Billy, I know what you’re thinking – “

“Then you know I won’t listen,” Billy replies.

“Billy, please.”

“I don’t want to talk right now,” Billy says quietly, taking a step forward, away from Teddy.  “Go back to the rest of the team.  They need you.”

“They need you, too.”

Billy wants to laugh, but he keeps quiet for Teddy’s sake.  “They don’t.”

“B – “

“At least not right now.  I’ve been causing way more trouble than I’m worth, Teddy.  It would be better for me to back off for awhile and let David handle this.”

Teddy doesn’t respond, but there is no sound of receding footsteps, no sound at all except for his soft breathing.  Billy listens to it for a moment or two, losing himself in the methodic rhythm.  He wishes they were truly alone.  He wouldn’t be so hellbent on isolating himself if it were just him and Teddy.  He might even allow Teddy to wrestle his thoughts from his mouth.

“Billy, please come back with me.”

He shakes his head, standing firm in his footsteps.  Teddy doesn’t take that as answer, unfortunately, and he grips Billy’s arm tightly.

“Don’t – “ Billy says, anger flaring up inside of him.  His eyes burn and he pulls as hard as he can from Teddy’s grip.

Instantly, Teddy’s eyes grow wide.  An intake of breath punctuates the moment as Teddy looks downward.  Billy follows his gaze, and his heart drops.

His hands are glowing – a bright, steady blue.  Panic rising in his chest, Billy surveys Teddy for damage, but there’s nothing in sight.  Still, his stomach churns and his head aches with a slight dizziness.  Fear grips him like a vice and his thoughts drift off to the past, to a battle with the Sons of the Serpent and the Avengers debating whether to let him go free or lock him up like the monster he is.

“Teddy,” he whispers.  “Teddy, I’m so sorry.”

Teddy takes a step forward, but is stopped abruptly when Billy throws out his hand.  The blue pulses and Billy immediately pulls back, curling his hands against his chest.

“Go back to the team,” he pleads, blinking against the wetness in his eyes.  “I just need space, I promise.”

Teddy nods, giving Billy a sad smile before he turns away.  Billy sinks to the ground the moment Teddy’s back is turned, and he feels sobs working their way up to his chest.  He doesn’t want to cry right now, but he’s so overwhelmed.  He fears it’s the only outlet he can actively use right now.  Magic is out of question, and anger never does any good.

America, however, seems to disagree.

As Teddy arrives back to the group, America approaches him.  Billy looks over tentatively, watching as they talk.  America’s eyes grow dark as she listens to Teddy, and within seconds she’s stalking right past him, making a beeline for Billy.

“Get your ass up,” she orders, and Billy doesn’t hesitate.  “I know you don’t feel so hot, but I’ve had it, Kaplan.  Noh-varr is in some serious danger, and we need everybody’s help.  You need to set aside that self-hatred for a just a second because it’s what got us in this mess in the first place.  God, you shouldn’t even have to worry, Billy.  It drives me up the goddamn wall sometimes, how much time you spend moping when we all know that you’re perfectly capable of amazing things.”

“I’m sorry,” Billy says stupidly, dumbstruck and uncertain.

“Don’t be sorry,” America chides.  “Just get your ass over here and help out.  Go collect Noh-varr’s things and get them on the ship.  Everyone else will handle the rest.”

Billy nods, and hurries to listen.  He would hate to cross America, sure, but mostly he just doesn’t want to cause any more trouble.  He’s one more mishap away from the team dumping him.

_

**DAY 0**

“It was a mess.  I mean, Noh went down once and I tried to make my way over, but he just kept getting hit and I thought we were going to lose him.”

“But he’s alright now?” Loki asks, real concern evident in his eyes.

“Yes, he’s resting – and recovering,” David assures.  “Kate’s taking care of him.”

Loki waggles an eyebrow and leans in slightly.  “What’s going on between those two?” he asks.  “I thought they were ending their relationship?”

David shrugs.  “I can never tell with Kate.  She’s very quiet about her feelings toward anyone.  I don’t think she likes to get attached easy.”

Loki straightens up, nodding.  “I can understand.”

“I am curious though, what – “ David starts, but is interrupted by a buzzing in his pocket.  He looks down curiously and pulls out his phone.  The screen flashes a name Loki can’t read, but obviously it’s someone important because David can’t answer fast enough.  “Hello?  Noh-varr?”

_“Hello, David.”_

“Are you okay?”

_“I’m fine.  I simply had a question for you.”_

“Yes?” David asks, creasing his eyebrows together.

_“I was wondering where my things had been taken.  Kate says Billy took care of that task, but I seem to be missing something.”_

“What are you missing?” David asks.

_“A gun.”_

Loki’s head immediately shoots up, terror shining in his eyes.  David looks to him and pales. 

“N – Noh-varr, I’ll get back to you on that.  I’m going to talk to Billy.”

He hangs up and looks to Loki expectantly.

“Goddamint,” Loki hisses.  “Not again.  That moronic imbecile.”

“Loki - ?”

“We have to go,” Loki says, springing up from his seat.  “It’s been over a day, but I doubt he’s done it yet.  Things are still too fragile.”

“Loki, what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about saving Billy,” Loki says, grabbing David’s hand.  He shuts his eyes and begins concentrating.  “He’s going to try to kill himself.” 

He opens one eye and looks to David with exhaustion.  “Again.”

_

**DAY 0**

It’s an eerie feeling of déjà vu when Loki materializes in Billy’s bedroom. 

It’s quiet and dark, and Loki is terrified to breathe for fear of jumpstarting something dangerous.  There’s the sound of rhythmic creaking – footsteps, Loki realizes, and then the door to Billy’s bedroom inches open.  Loki grabs David’s wrist just in time, and the two of them disappear from view.

They watch, concealed and invisible, as Billy slides onto his bed.  He sits down with his legs crossed and his face buried in his hands for what feels like hours.  He shoulders shake some, and he sniffles several times, but at the end of it all, he reaches into his bedside table and pulls out Noh-varr’s gun.  With a deep breath, he nestles it underneath his chin and squeezes his eyes shut tightly.

Loki rematerializes and hurls himself across the room.  Billy hasn’t pulled the trigger yet, and he doesn’t have time to, because Loki knocks it out of his hand immediately.  It skitters across the floor and a beam shoots out, hitting a globe and exploding it.  Shards of plastic fly everywhere, and as David grabs the gun, the door bursts open.  Teddy stands there amongst the chaos, confused and out of breath.

“Well,” Loki says, looking around.  “I’m sure this seems very strange.”

“Loki,” Teddy says narrowing his eyes.  “What are you doing here?  What have you done?”

Loki raises his eyebrows in shock.  “I, Theodore, have just saved your boyfriend’s life.  That nice gun David has over there – “ he points to it, and Teddy glances over with apprehension – “was just in Billy’s hand, pointed right at his head.  I knocked it away before he could do something incredibly stupid, like _kill himself_.”  He spits the last two words at Billy and watches him crumple.

Silence follows, and both David and Teddy stare at Billy brokenly.  Billy on the other hand refuses to look up, bringing his knees up to his chest and burying his face in between them.  He begins to shake almost instantly, and Loki feels some of the anger dissolve from his veins as he watches Billy sob.  He’s been there – many, many times, and he can’t blame Billy for seeking this way out.

It feels like years before someone speaks, and Loki almost jumps a foot into the air.

“Billy?”

Teddy inches closer to the bed, hand outstretched, seeking Billy’s touch.

Billy shakes his head against his legs and subsequently shoos Teddy away.  His knees tuck up tighter to his chest, and he refuses to look up at all.  Instead he shoves his head further down into his lap.

“Billy – “

“Teddy, _please_ ,” Billy says abruptly, and his voice is tainted with sobs.  “I can’t – I can’t do this right now.”

David and Loki stare at him helplessly.  Loki wishes he could do something, but he feels like a hypocrite trying.  He’d thought many times about killing himself in the past, but it never seems to work out to his benefit, so he never takes action.  Still, the thoughts are there, and he doesn’t feel right asking Billy to fend them off when he can’t himself.

“Billy, you need to talk,” Teddy says quietly, then louder.  “Fuck, Billy.   That’s why you’re in this mess.   Because you don’t tell anyone anything.  You need to _talk_.”

“Ted – “ Billy chokes out brokenly.

Teddy shakes his head, firm.  “I’m talking to your mother.”

Billy hopes in vain to stop Teddy, but he can barely breathe, let alone tackle his boyfriend to the ground and make him promise to keep his mom out of this.  She doesn’t get home from work for hours, but it’s not nearly enough time for Billy to recover.  The second she walks through the door, Loki and David are waiting for her, ready to guide her back to Billy’s room where he’s under Teddy’s careful watch.

_

**DAY 0**

At first, Rebecca is dead set on Billy being hospitalized, but somehow he manages to talk himself out of that – talking something about the Young Avengers, and schoolwork, and ready to promise to get better via outpatient rather than anything else.  Rebecca fights hard, telling him facts about the program at their regular hospital, but Billy refuses and does not budge.

Exhausted and worn, Rebecca and Billy finally come to an agreement that involves Billy going to therapy twice a week and being suspended from the Young Avengers for at least seven days.  If he’s not with the Young Avengers or at school, he’s at home.  He’s not allowed to go anywhere without checking in first, and he must fork over all weaponry that’s stowed away in his bedroom.  Everything related to the Young Avengers must be kept at the mansion.  In addition, Rebecca raids Billy’s room for sharp objects, strings, and belts.  She also puts a lock on the medicine cabinet, and takes the locks off all doors in the house.

Billy thinks she’s being overdramatic, but Teddy, who’s also just found out about the _three_ different suicide attempts agrees with her.  When Billy’s fast asleep in his bed, he confronts Rebecca and tells her that he’ll keep a watchful eye on Billy for her when she can’t be around.

“Thank you, Teddy,” she says sincerely with a sigh.  “But please remember to take care of yourself.  I know this won’t be easy.  It was hard enough during those months when Billy wouldn’t leave his room.  Now he’s taking action against his safety and that’s going to put a strain on all of us.  Don’t be afraid to come to me if you need to talk, Teddy.”

Teddy swallows hard against the lump in his throat.  “I won’t.  Thank you, Mrs. Kaplan.”

“Excuse me – “

Teddy and Rebecca turn to find Loki, looking as tired as they both feel.  “I know it’s been a long night, Mrs. Kaplan,” he begins.  “But I hope you won’t mind if David and I stay until morning.  We’re worried about Billy.”

“Not at all,” Rebecca replies.  “Do – do you want me to get some sleeping bags out?” she asks, looking between Loki and Teddy.

Loki waves a hand.  “Don’t worry about it, Mrs. Kaplan.  We’ll figure it out.  Get some rest.”

“Are you sure?” she asks, not entirely convinced.

“We’re certain,” Loki replies, flashing his most charming smile.

“Alright.  Well, thank you, boys – for everything.”

They both nod, watching as Rebecca disappears down the hall.  The second she walks into her room, Teddy has Loki by the neck.

Loki instantly holds his hands up in surrender, eyes wide and eyebrows up.  “Take it easy, Teddy,” he says, looking him right in the eye.

“I don’t trust you.”

“Well, of course you don’t,” Loki says, trying his hardest to shrug out of Teddy’s grip.  Teddy’s other hand goes to Loki’s shoulder, pushing him against the wall.

“Loki, you better tell me now if you have some kind of ulterior motive,” Teddy warns, eyes smoldering with anger.

“I don’t,” Loki says, baring his teeth and wriggling a little more.

Teddy only narrows his eyes.

Loki stills, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.  “Let me go, Teddy.  Or you’re going to regret ever laying a hand on me.”

“Not until you promise me,” Teddy breathes.  “Promise me you don’t have any kind of plan to drive Billy over the edge.  Promise me this isn’t you manipulating him into killing himself.”  His voice breaks over the last two words, and Loki opens his eyes to see that Teddy’s are filled with tears.

“Teddy,” Loki starts carefully, “I know I’m an asshole.  I know I’m the fucking God of Mischief and whatever else, but this isn’t something I would do.  I’m not exactly the nicest of friends to Billy, but I’m his friend nonetheless, and I care about him – “

“Promise,” Teddy says through gritted teeth.

“I promise,” Loki says quietly.  “Teddy, I would never want Billy to kill himself, okay?  I’ve saved him three times now.  You have to believe me.”

Teddy’s grip on him loosens, but he doesn’t let go.

“Teddy,” Loki says again.  “Listen.  To.  Me.  I don’t want Billy to die.  I don’t want him to commit suicide.  I don’t want him to feel this way.  It’s a terrible feeling, _I know_.”

Loki pauses, gathering as much strength as he can.  “I’ve tried to kill myself, Teddy.”  He breaks off, inhaling a deep shuddering breath.  Teddy stares at him with wide, pained eyes and lets him go gently.

“I almost attempted suicide once again after I left the Young Avengers, but I knew nothing would work.  Teddy, I’m not here to make Billy feel as bad as I do.  Believe me.”

Teddy nods, pressing his lips together and taking a step back.  “I – I believe you, Loki.”

“Good,” Loki says, shaking the emotion from himself and straightening up.  “No let’s get some shut-eye, Banner Jr.”

_

**DAY 1**

Everyone seated at the table looks around as Loki enters the room, coughing dramatically at the dust and waving a hand in front of his face as if he can’t see.  Kate and Tommy both roll their eyes, and America huffs loudly.

“Just spit it out,” she demands impatiently.

“I’m here on behalf of your two brethren – Wiccan and Hulkling, both of whom remain at the Kaplan home.”  He steps forward and pulls the head chair out.  “No, they’re not committing heinous acts of sexual prowess, and David here can vouch for me.”  He points a hand at David, who stares at him with disapproval.

“Tough crowd,” Loki says, frowning with distaste.  He sits down and leans back, crossing both his arms and legs.  “Alright, here’s the deal.  Billy’s out for a week, and most likely, Teddy is too.”

An uproar immediately follows, and among shouts of “ _What did you do?”_ and _“Loki, so help me, you traitor – “_ he presses his face into his hands.  After a solid second or so, Loki uses a burst of magic to throw everyone back into their chairs.

“Enough!” he shouts, straightening up.  “You have no faith in me – which is completely understandable,” he adds, “but I’m not here to create chaos.  I’m here because Billy is _not_ doing well.”

The anger on everyone’s faces immediately fades into concern.

Loki takes a deep breath, and even though he tries, he can’t meet anyone’s eyes.  His usual surge of cockiness has quickly dissipated in the face of the news he has to deliver.  He folds his hands together and ignores the tightness in his throat. 

“Last night, Billy tried to kill himself.” 

A chorus of gasps follows Loki’s words, but he pushes on, fighting hard against the burning behind his eyelids.  “I know that most of you were present when he tried to sacrifice himself in the name of defeating Mother, but I’m telling you now that wasn’t just an act of nobility.  I’d stopped Billy once before that from trying to commit suicide.  He told me then it was about Mother too, but it wasn’t.  It never has been.  Look, we all know that Billy doesn’t exactly like himself.  We’ve all witnessed his moping and self-hatred, but this isn’t him just being dramatic anymore.”

Loki lifts his eyes up and takes time to look at everyone.  Kate and America are both crying, but while America is trying her best to contain herself, Kate is crying openly into Noh-varr’s shoulder.  Noh himself looks completely lost, and David mimics America in somberness, though without the crying.  Tommy has his face buried in his hands, but Loki can’t tell if those are sobs shaking his shoulders or pent-up anger.

“This is more than self-hatred,” Loki continues.  “Billy is buried so far in despair that he doesn’t want to live anymore.  He’s in so much pain that he would rather take his own life than continue living.  He needs us.  All of us.”

He looks around once more and is greeted with several nods and gazes of understanding.

“He starts therapy tomorrow, and he’ll be diagnosed with whatever mental illness or illnesses he has.  He’ll probably be put on meds and will be given all these new ways to cope with whatever’s wrong, but that’s not going to be enough.  He _needs us_.”

“We’ll be here for him,” David says quietly, and everyone mumbles in agreement.

“And – and I know most of you don’t trust me,” Loki continues.  “But I know – I _know_ what Billy’s going through.  A villain-turned-struggling-hero isn’t the easiest gig in the nine realms, but – “   Something eerily similar to a sob bubbles in Loki’s throat and he swallows hard before giving himself a shake.  “ – forget about it.  I just need you guys to understand that Billy probably won’t be an active part of the team for awhile, and he’s going to need a lot of patience from you.”

“We’ll give it to him,” America says immediately.  “We owe him that much.”

The rest of the team agrees, but Loki isn’t convinced.  Thor told him he would always be there, but there’s still a part of Loki that believes even his bumbling brother would rejoice if he could successfully kill himself.  Billy is a good kid, and he’d never betray his friends, but Loki knows how hard it is for most people to understand what’s going on in Billy’s head.

_

**DAY 1**

For once, Billy’s not ashamed to be lounging around in his pajamas at three in the afternoon, hair a mess and not showered.  It’s been an overwhelming past twenty-four hours, and Billy is more than relieved to spend the day on the couch, marathoning _Game of Thrones_ and cuddling with Teddy.  The distraction keeps him from falling apart at the previous night’s events, as well as what’s to come.

Billy hadn’t really been able to sleep the night before.  After settling things with his friends and his mother, and then having to listen to his mother tell everything to his father, and have then having Loki explain everything he knew to Teddy – it was hell, to say the least.  He got away with not talking by pretending to sleep, but that seemed to backfire, because soon enough he was the only one left awake.  It was in those lonely, dark hours of early morning that the gravity of the situation finally hit him.

He’d tried to _kill himself_.

He had stolen a gun and he had fully intended to shoot himself.  With one pull of the trigger, he was going to leave his life and everyone in it behind.  He knows that he’s been in a lot of pain, and he’s managed to convince himself many, many times that everyone else would be better off without him, but he never thought he would make it this far.  Just a second away from killing himself with no other reason but to end the pain.

He’d started crying then, silently but also violently, until sleep had grabbed hold of him.

It’s been a difficult day.  His parents, his brothers, Teddy, Loki, David – none of them can look at Billy the same way.  The only thing in their eyes has been sympathy and concern, and though Billy tries to ignore it – guilt.  There’s a part of Billy that’s glad he didn’t die, but most of him wishes he had –mostly because of this.  He just wants to stop hurting other people.  It might hurt initially when he dies, but everyone will move on.  Just as they had with Cassie and Jonas and Nate.  Billy causes too much stress on the team, too much stress at home, too much stress in his relationship with Teddy.  He knows everyone would be better off, and he’s never been more aware than he is now.

Billy hasn’t said much all day.  He just answers his mother’s questions and talks when Teddy expects him to.  His little brothers have tried to talk to him, but he doesn’t know what to say, so he lets Teddy or his mom shoo them away.

Teddy and Billy are onto their fifth episode of _Game of Thrones_ , but Billy hasn’t been able to concentrate much.  His brain has been elsewhere most of the day, and it’s especially hard to escape it now.  Loki and David have gone to deliver the news of the previous night to the rest of the Young Avengers, and Billy’s terrified of their reaction.  He has no idea how they’ll handle it, but he’s fully prepared for the worst – to be kicked off the team, to lose most of his friends – whatever it might be.

Thankfully, neither of those happen.

Loki returns without David, telling Billy and Teddy that he had elected to stay with the team.

“Why?” Billy asks.

“Well, William,” Loki sighs, dropping unceremoniously into the open spot next to Billy, “all of your friends are out of their mind with worry.  David stayed behind to reassure them that you’re going to be okay.”

Billy bites his lip, looking down at his laps as he twists his fingers together.

Loki sighs heavily, throwing his head against the back of the couch.  “Odin’s scraggly beard, Billy.  Don’t take it so harshly.”

“I don’t want them to worry about me,” Billy whispers.

“Well, you should’ve thought about that before you tried to kill yourself.”

“Loki,” Teddy says sharply.

Loki lifts his head up.  “Sorry,” he mumbles.  “That didn’t come out right.  What I mean to say is – your friends are going to worry.  They care about you, and the fact that you tried to commit suicide – well, that’s kind of a big deal.  They just want you to be happy, Billy.”

“I know,” Billy says, “and, I wish I could be.”

_

**DAY 1 – DAY 2**

After Loki’s arrival, things change.  Loki won’t stand for Billy moping around.  It’s not doing any good, he says, and he has a few tricks he’s willing to share that work to keep him afloat when he’s feeling low like this.

“Magic is certainly a great distraction,” Loki says.  “But that requires focus and at least _some_ emotional stability, so we’ll put that one aside for now.  I myself am a big fan of video games, so what do you say – shall we have a tournament of sorts?”

Teddy looks to Billy, unsure.

Heaving a deep breath, Billy nods and throws the blanket from his lap.  “Alright, yeah – let’s do it.”

The play various games for hours until nearly two in the morning.  They all find out that Loki has a pretty colorful vocabulary, even swearing in what Teddy and Billy assume is Norse and possibly some kind of old Asgardian tongue.  There are a few phrases that even crack a small smile from Billy, and Loki is secretly pleased with himself.

Billy’s parents check on them several times throughout the night, watching for a minute or two and quietly backing away once they see that Billy actually seems to be enjoying himself.  Rebecca becomes concerned once it starts nearing midnight, but Jeff manages to wave her off, quietly pointing out that Billy hasn’t been this carefree in weeks.  He deserves a night with his friends.  Rebecca agrees and announces to the boys that as long as they don’t get too rowdy, they’re free to keep playing, and the pantry is full if they decide to take a break to eat.

They do.  As soon as his mom mentions food, Billy is naming off a list of things he’s craving.  He makes to pause the game and get up to get something, but both Teddy and Loki throw out a hand, shoving him back onto the couch.

“Allow me,” Teddy says.  “Stay with Loki.”

Billy frowns just slightly, looking mostly irritated as Teddy heads for the kitchen.

“You know I was just going to grab a bag of chips, right?” he calls after his boyfriend.

“I don’t care.  I’m not taking any chances,” Teddy replies.

Billy sighs, and Loki nudges him.

“You earned it,” he mumbles.

“I’m really starting to regret it,” he sighs.

“For the wrong reasons,” Loki huffs, then offers a sad smile.  “Don’t worry.  I’ve been in your place.  Thor is absolutely overbearing at times.”

“Are you guys ever going to trust me again?” Billy asks.

Loki laughs.  “Not a chance.  And that’s saying something coming from me, Kaplan.”

_

**DAY 2**

Teddy and Loki sit on opposite sides of the room.  Teddy is hunched over, bouncing his knee restlessly and continuously touching his mouth.  Loki sits slouched, legs wide open and arms draped into the chairs on either side of him.  He leans his head back, staring at the tiled ceiling.

Billy is currently in therapy, accompanied by his mother.

“This is taking too long,” Loki huffs, crossing his arms.

“They’re hour-long appointments,” Teddy reminds him grimly.  “He’s been in there for forty-five minutes.”

“Ugh, I can’t wait any longer.  Teddy, I could very well die.”

“Shut up, Loki.”

Loki flings his arms down dramatically, huffing again.  He stews in silence until the irritation fades, replaced by gut-wrenching worry again.

“I just hope Billy’s okay,” he says quietly.

“Me too.”

Ten minutes pass at the pace of a snail, and Loki continues to squirm, Teddy continues to bounce his legs.  They both stare empty into space, counting down the seconds in their minds.  Neither of them expect it when Billy walks out, looking sullen and absolutely exhausted.  He stops in front of them, heaving a deep breath, and they both stand up.

“Billy – “

“Major Depressive Disorder,” Billy says, a sad, mocking smile splitting his face.  “And my mom’s in there now, talking about putting me on Prozac.”

“B – “

“ _Great_ ,” Billy says, acidly sarcastic.

Teddy grips his shoulder, steadying him.  “It _is_ great,” he says earnestly.  “If it’s what it takes to help you get better, then it’s a _good thing_.”

“But, God, Teddy,” Billy sighs.  “You know what people say about anti-depressants.  It’s all a big joke.  Depression is just a big joke.  Nobody will ever take me seriously.”

“Then they’re idiots,” Teddy replies.  “It’s an illness, Bee, just like any other.  And it’s life-threatening.  You almost – you – got close, Billy.  You need to get better.”

Billy sighs heavily and leans into Teddy’s touch.  Immediately, Teddy wraps his arms around Billy, pulling him close.  Billy’s eyes burn, and he buries his face in Teddy’s shoulder.  He isn’t quite breathing right and it terrifies him.

“I just don’t want to think about all the things people will say about me,” Billy breathes, eyes shut tightly.  “I already know what horrible things were said about my mother.”

Teddy feels his gut clench as he realizes just what Billy’s talking about.  Wanda Maximoff was public enemy number one for quite awhile, but nobody ever considered why.  Everyone always talked about how she just “went crazy” one day, not why, or how.  Teddy suddenly feels extremely guilty, remembering how he used to just accept those shitty facts blindly.

“Billy, no one with their head screwed on straight is going to think poorly of you,” Teddy says, rubbing his boyfriend’s back gently.  “And if they do, fuck them.  You deserve to be happy, and you can’t let other people stop you.”

“Teddy,” Billy sighs.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Teddy smiles, holding Billy tighter.  “I love you, too.”

Five feet behind them, Loki stands with his arms crossed, a half-hearted smile on his face.  He’s glad that Billy’s going to be okay, but a great part of him feels bad that he can’t enjoy the moment with the other two.

_

**DAY 6**

Loki skids to a halt in front of the hapless lovebirds, taking a second to catch his breath (dramatically of course; he’d only just materialized in the bathroom down the hall, but he _had_ just been rudely interrupted in the middle of a mission).

“What’s the problem, boys?”

Billy facepalms.  “Loki, why are you wearing that?” he asks, refusing to even look at him.

“Excuse _me_ , Kaplan.  I was just in the middle of a very important mission.”

“Taking care of your maid duties at Avengers’ Tower?” Teddy asks.

Loki points a warning finger at him.  “I’m supposed to be spying on some rogue Asgardian warriors, but I was getting nowhere anyway.  Now, forget that – what’s going on with you two?”

“I have to go to class,” Billy whines, finally lifting his head, “but Teddy – “

“It’s just one hour, Billy,” he says.  “You told me right away this morning it was a bad day.  I just want to look out for you.”

“You have a Spanish test this hour,” Billy says incredulously.  “I can handle myself in Lit.  It’s my favorite class.”

“Billy, now just – “

“Teddy, no.  This is a big part of your grade.  Go to Spanish.”  He points down the hall with force, and Loki watches cautiously as his fingertips begin to glow.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he says, stepping in between them.  “I have a solution, gentlemen.”

Billy takes a step back, crossing his arms.  “And?”

“And I’ll accompany Billy to Lit,” he supplies, glancing at Teddy for approval.

“No,” Billy says flatly.

“And why not?” Loki asks, turning back to him and raising an eyebrow.

“You’re an internationally-known super villain, Loki.”

Loki opens his mouth to say something, but closes it and takes a second.  “You got me there.  But how many people know what I look like, now?  Not many.”

“Loki,” Billy sighs.  “I can handle myself.  Go back to your mission.”

“Too late,” Loki replies, grabbing him by the forearm and pulling him along the hallway.  “Go to class, Altman.  I’ll take good care of your boyfriend.”

Teddy hesitates, looking between the two of them.  “I – I don’t know.”

“Teddy,” Loki says seriously, turning in his tracks and taking a step towards him.  He tries to place his hands gently on Teddy’s shoulders, but Teddy slaps his hands away.  “Listen to me, Theodore – I’ll take care of Billy.  You take care of you.  Go to Spanish.”

Teddy sighs, but eventually nods, caving in.  “Alright, alright – I’ll go.”  He gives Billy a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off.

As soon as he’s out of earshot, Billy asks, “Did you just reality-warp him?”

“Yup,” Loki replies, dusting off his finger tips against the lapel of his coat.  While he’s doing that, Billy kicks him as hard as he can in the shin.  “Whoa – whoa, whoa – watch it, Kaplan.”  In a second, he’s got a barrier of magic between them, holding Billy back.  As soon as Billy calms enough, Loki wipes it away.

Billy opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by the sound of footsteps.  The two of them turn to find a teacher walking towards them.  He stops abruptly at the sight of Billy.

“Are you okay, Kaplan?”

Billy nods, heaving a sigh.  “I’m fine, Mr. Paulson.”

“Good,” Mr. Paulson replies, picking up his route again.  “Then get to class.”

Billy grumbles under his breath as he starts walking in the opposite direction.  “Alright – come on, Loki.”

Ten minutes later, they’re seated at the back of the class, listening to a lecture.  Billy really wishes the two seats left hadn’t been right next to each other.  The obnoxiousness of Loki is entirely too embarrassing to be associated with.  Not only does everyone know Billy tried to kill himself – now he has a lime green, horned handler as well.

To his left, Billy hears someone whisper, “Who’s the douche in the green?”

In reply: “I don’t know.  Fuckin’ cosplayers.”

Billy buries his face in his hands, wishing to disappear for entirely different reasons than he usually does.

_

**DAY 15**

Billy has never been happier to see Tommy in his entire life.  After hours alone with Teddy and Loki and all their worry, he’s craving some reckless company.  Tommy steps through the door, and Billy nearly topples him over with the force of his hug.

“Jesus Christ,” Tommy mumbles when Billy pulls away, stumbling backward slightly.  “It’s good to see you too, Billy.”  He straightens up with difficulty, only to be embraced by Teddy.

“I’ll keep my distance,” Loki says as Teddy lets go.

“I appreciate it,” Tommy replies.  “I’d prefer not to be snapped in half today.”

“Alright, come on,” Billy says eagerly, grabbing Tommy by the shoulders and steering him along.  “Teddy and Loki were just about to make lunch.  Why don’t you and I catch up?”

Tommy looks back at his brother with uncertainty, a slight hint of uneasiness in his expression.  Simultaneously, Teddy and Loki share a glance and mouth a quick conversation that Billy readily ignores.  While the two of them keep heading for the kitchen, Billy leads Tommy into the living room, pushing him down onto the couch.

“Billy, what the – “

“You have to get me out of here,” Billy says seriously, dropping down next to his brother.  “I’m going _insane_.”

“Billy – “

“They won’t leave me a second to myself.  Teddy accompanies me to the _bathroom_.  I have to leave the door open and he waits outside.”

“Bill – “

“ _Please,_ Tommy.  If you love me, you will get me out of here.”

_“Billy.”_

With a start, he realizes he’s got Tommy by the shoulders again, and he’s shaking his brother a little too hard.

“Sorry,” he mumbles quickly, retracting his hands.

“After lunch,” Tommy says slowly, “we’ll go out.”

“Thank you,” Billy breathes.  “Oh, god – thank you, Tommy.”

After sitting through another grueling half hour of lunch, Billy excitedly pulls on an oversized sweater and a scarf before he kisses his boyfriend goodbye and even hugs Loki tightly.  (He feels slightly guilty feeling so triumphant in escaping them). 

“We’ll be back in a couple hours,” Billy promises.

“I’ll be here,” Teddy replies. 

“I might be here,” Loki says, collapsing to the couch and grabbing the remote.  “I might have plans with Verity, but maybe not.  It’s – whatever.”

Teddy sighs, shaking his head.  “More girl troubles.  I’m excited,” he says sourly.

Billy snickers.  “Best of luck,” he whispers before following Tommy out the door.  After it slides shut, he breathes a huge sigh of relief.  “Sweet, sweet freedom.”

“So – what exactly are we doing?” Tommy asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Well, considering I’ve been barred from having a proper social life – I’ve read all the comics I’ve had like twenty times.  I need new ones, so let’s go to the comic shop.”

Tommy groans, but it’s obviously forced and overdramatic.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t dig comics, loser.”

“Not as much as you do,” Tommy huffs.

Billy just smirks, leading the way.

It doesn’t take Billy very long to load up on comics.  He doesn’t so much as debate what he wants as take everything in sight.  Tommy watches apprehensively, counting up all the dollar signs in his head.  By the time Billy’s ready to check out, he’s got quite the sizable stack.

“Dude,” Tommy says.

“My mom might have forced me to take a leave of absence from work,” Billy says, “but I’ve got a good amount of money saved up.”

“And you’re gonna blow it all on comics?” Tommy asks incredulously.

“Yup,” Billy replies.

Tommy shakes his head, following his brother up to the register.

With hands full of new comics, Billy steps out onto the street with a smile.  He shivers slightly as a wind passes by and wraps his arms around himself. 

“You up for coffee?” he asks, turning to Tommy.  “I could really go for some.”

“Wherever it’s warm,” Tommy agrees, putting his hands in his pockets once more and shrugging his shoulders to conserve body heat.

Thankfully, there’s a coffee shop just three blocks away, and the two of them breathe sighs of relief the moment they step inside.  Billy loosens the scarf around his neck, and Tommy just plain loosens up.  They both trail awkwardly behind the line of people waiting to order.  As they glance over the menu, Tommy leans in towards Billy.

“I’ll buy – if you want.”

Billy shakes head.  “No, Tom – “

“You’re not the only one with a job,” Tommy points out.  “Come on, Kaplan.  Give in and let me do my good deed for the year.”

“Fine,” Billy says.  “I want a medium mocha, and I’ll go find us a table.”

“Will do,” Tommy replies.

Billy picks a seat by the window, happy to look outside.  He’s still going through a thrill, like a puppy let out of its cage.  He’s spent almost two weeks cooped up in his home, or at therapy, trying to somehow re-learn how to live.  He’s barely seen any of the team, and he’s itching so badly to get out of the house and train.  His mom lets him practice magic, as long as he proved he couldn’t harm himself doing it, but it isn’t the same.  He’s not going to head back to the Young Avengers any time soon most likely, but he’ll settle for coffee dates with his brother or his boyfriend or his friends. 

Tommy joins him with two steaming mugs, and Billy takes his carefully.  The first sip is hot and sweet against his tongue, and it puts a sincere smile on his face.

Tommy sits back, just watching his brother.  He doesn’t drink, and it takes a few minutes before Billy notices.

“Tommy?” he asks.

“How are you?” Tommy asks, then clears his throat awkwardly.  “I mean, like – how are you, really?”

Billy sighs, defeated.  “Oh, god – not you too,” he mutters.

Tommy straightens up and leans across the table.  “Billy, come on,” he says, peering at his brother.  “You – fuck, you tried to -  to _kill yourself_.  I can’t help but be worried out of my mind.”

Billy sighs again, stirring his coffee around with a glowing finger.  “Tommy, I’m not – I’m happy today.”

“And I’m glad you are,” Tommy says, “but I’m sure everything hasn’t just disappeared.  I mean – be honest.  Do – do you still, you know – do you still think about it?”

Billy swallows hard, alarmed at the sudden lump in his throat.  “What – killing myself?”

Tommy nods.

It takes Billy a minute to answer.  “You’re right,” he says, looking down.  “Everything hasn’t gone away.  I still – I still have those thoughts, but I don’t want to try again anytime soon.”

“Mostly because of Teddy, and Loki, and me, right?” Tommy asks.  “Because you don’t want to hurt us.”

Billy nods.

“That’s not a good enough reason,” Tommy says.  “You need to keep from hurting yourself just for you.  Because you want to live, because you want to be happy.”

Billy doesn’t respond, just continues to stir his coffee.

He and Tommy don’t spend a lot of time together outside of superhero gigs anymore, but Billy still remembers those dark months after Cassie and Jonas died and Nate became his own worst nightmare.  He remembers sitting by that window sill, practically mute.  He remembers Teddy and his parents, but he also remembers Tommy, sitting there in the background, scared and unsure.

“You deserve it,” Tommy says quietly.  “Billy, you deserve to be happy.”

Billy still doesn’t look up, but he takes a deep, shuddering breath.

“Make me a promise.  Promise me you’re going to get better.  Billy, you’re – you’re the only family I have, and I’m fucking _terrified_ of losing you, especially to suicide.  If you go out, you deserve to go out a hero.  I couldn’t live with myself if you died at your own hand.”

Slowly, Billy lifts his gaze.  He has no idea what to say, but in the end it doesn’t matter.  He throws himself upward and steps around the table, pulling Tommy into a powerful hug.  In the end, that’s enough.

_

**DAY 29**

As mentioned, Literature is Billy’s favorite class.  However, today he can’t concentrate for the life of him.  He’s positively exhausted, and his head is pounding so fiercely it feels like someone is jack-hammering his skull.  After waking up with a scratchy throat and a stuffy nose, what he thought was just the drafts seeping through his window and settling in his sinuses as he slept – which could be solved with a simple shower - has definitely proved itself to be a full-blown cold.

He sniffs deeply and leans his head against his hand, trying his best to stay awake and pay attention to what Mr. McKinnon has to say.  He attempts half-heartedly to take notes, but the words get jumbled in his mind and he continuously has to erase whatever the hell he just wrote.

“Mr. Kaplan?”

He looks up, blinking slowly.

“Yes, Mr. McKinnon?” he asks thickly, then clears his throat.

“Am I boring you?”

“No – no, Mr. McKinnon,” he says quickly.  “I’m sorry, I just – “

He breaks off, sneezing harshly into his elbow.

Any anger Mr. McKinnon had harbored quickly disappears, and he sighs, looking at Billy with the utmost sympathy.

“Mr. Kaplan – “

“I’m paying attention, I swear.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kaplan,” Mr. McKinnon says, grabbing a pen from his desk, “but that no longer matters to me, as I think it would be best if you go to the nurse.”

“No, no,” Billy says quickly.  “I’m – I’m fine.”

“Mr. Kaplan,” Mr. McKinnon says sternly as he throws his hand out, clasping a piece of paper.  “Go to the nurse.”

Billy opts to argue once more, but is interrupted by a few sharp coughs.  He surrenders, shoving his things into his backpack and dragging himself out of his seat.  He grabs the pass from Mr. McKinnon with a sigh, and heads for the door.

“Get some rest, Mr. Kaplan,” Mr. McKinnon calls after him.  “And feel better.”

He sneezes twice more on his way to the nurse, and his breathing is labored as he collapses into one of the seats outside her office.  Only a couple minutes pass before a freshman walks shamefully out the door with an icepack on his head. 

 _Ah, the terrors of gym class_ , Billy thinks.

“What ails you today, Billy?” the nurse asks, taking his pass from his hand.

“A stupid cold,” he replies, sniffling.

“Why don’t you come on in,” the nurse says, “and we’ll see if you’re right.”

He follows her inside and drops his bag to the floor before sitting down on one of the several small beds attached to the wall.

“You sound pretty congested,” the nurse remarks, grabbing a thermometer and disposable cover from the cupboard to her right.

“I _am_ pretty congested,” Billy agrees.

“Headache?”

He nods, then winces.

“Coughing?  Sneezing?”

“Both.”

“Open up,” the nurse instructs, and Billy accepts the thermometer underneath his tongue.  His thoughts drift off, and he daydreams about laying down and settling into a nap before the beeping pulls him back to the present.  “One-oh-two-point-six,” the nurse reads.  “Most likely not a cold.  That fever’s too high.  It’s probably the flu.  I’m going to call your mom.  You can lay down if you’d like, Billy.”

He does just that, curling his knees up to his chest.  As he does, he realizes how cold he is, and pulls the hood of his sweatshirt up over his head, the sleeves down over his hands.  He must doze off, because the next thing he knows, his mother is smoothing a hand over his forehead, saying his name quietly.

“Mom?” he croaks out.

“I’m here, Billy,” she says.  “Come on, let’s get you home and to bed.”

“Okay,” he says, pushing himself up and surrendering into his mother’s arms.

The ride home goes by about as fast as the wait for his mom, mostly due to the fact that he drifts off again. When they get inside, a bed is made for Billy on the couch, and he strips out of his jeans before slipping into it.  Before he properly goes to sleep, his mother gives him a dose of NyQuil, and he takes it without hesitation.  He can hardly breathe he’s so congested, and everything aches.  He wants to sleep fitfully without waking up every twenty minutes due to coughing or too much pain or the uncomfortable feeling that is his raging fever.

Hours, days, maybe weeks pass before Billy is awoken by his phone vibrating loudly in his ears.  He lifts his head up, and searches blindly around for his cell, completely dazed.  Just as he finds it in the pocket of his jeans that lay crumpled on the floor, the call goes to voicemail.  Billy blinks until he can read the words on his screen.

 **(8) Missed Calls**  
Teddy Altman

He sits up almost violently, hands shaking as he unlocks his phone and presses Teddy’s name.  It rings once before Teddy picks up, absolutely frantic.

_“Billy? Oh, thank god – I’ve been so worried.  I know you seemed really out of it this morning, but I wasn’t sure.  I didn’t – I guess I didn’t really think to ask if it was a bad day, but – “_

“Teddy – “

_“And then you didn’t show up to lunch, or European History, and I’m going out of mind.”_

“Ted – “

_“Where are you?  Are you okay?  Please tell me you’re okay.”_

“T – “  Billy can’t get the word out, overtaken by a harsh coughing fit, his entire body curling up and his phone nearly dropping from his grip.  When he’s finished, he has to clear his throat several times before he can actually speak again.  “I went home sick during second hour,” he says.  “Mr. McKinnon made me go the nurse, and apparently I have the flu.”

“Ooh,” Teddy says, and Billy can hear the wince in his voice.  “I mean – I’m glad it’s not something psychological, but I’m sorry you’re sick.  That sucks.”

“Yeah.”  Billy coughs miserably again, then sighs.  “Ugh – I feel awful,” he says quietly, sniffling to no avail; his sinuses remain just as pressurized as before.

“I’m sorry,” Teddy says.  “School’s almost over.  I’ll be home soon, okay?”

“Okay.”

As soon as he sets his phone back down, Billy’s asleep.  It’s sound and peaceful, and he’s more than happy that when he wakes up the next time, Teddy’s sitting at his feet, smiling and rubbing his leg.

“Go back to sleep, Bee,” he says.  “It’s only been an hour since we talked.  You need rest.”

He hums a noise in response before closing his eyes.

_

**DAY 43**

By now, Billy’s anti-depressants have fully kicked in.  He realizes it when the stress of school doesn’t drown him, and when he no longer second-guesses every move in his relationship with Teddy, and when he laughs at dinner with the team and it feels like his chest _blossoms_ , opening up and swallowing an overwhelming amount of happiness.

There’s still a lot that needs to change – like the fact that Billy still pretty much hates himself.  He isn’t filled to the brim with self-loathing, but he’s pretty damn close.  It’s been so ingrained in him that it’s hard to just get over it, but that’s why he goes to therapy, and he’s pleased enough that he’s working on it.

He clears it with his therapist first, and his mom, but once he recognizes that the anti-depressants are working, he rejoins the Young Avengers (at the same time as Loki, actually, given the fact  that he can no longer stomach working with the All-Mother).  Everyone welcomes him with open arms, more than happy to have him back with them.  They watch him carefully, but most everyone feels safe knowing that his therapist okay-ed his return.

However, things get a little hairy on their first mission with Billy back.

It’s not even a big deal.  A wannabe villain has an office building hostage.  There are several bombs placed strategically throughout, and when they can’t disarm the final one, Billy opts to get in there and try to undo it by hand, as magic isn’t working.  Everyone protests, telling Billy that he could easily die.  He doesn’t seem to care, convinced it’s the right thing to do.

“The lives of these civilians are more important.”

“Kaplan, I swear to my-fucking-self,” Loki hisses.   “You’re not doing this.”

“I’m not just going to let this people die,” Billy protests.  “I’m telling you – I know what to do – I can disarm this bomb.”

“Billy, just hold on – “ Kate starts, but he shakes his head fervently.

“If there’s a chance I can save them, I’m going to take it.”

“What about saving you?” Teddy chimes in.  “Billy what about all this work you’ve gone through these past months.  You’re just willing to throw it all away?”

“No, of course not,” Billy says defensively.  “But listen – “

“I’m not going to listen to you just try to justify throwing yourself away,” Teddy argues.  His eyes well up with tears, and it’s enough to make Billy backtrack.

“Teddy – Teddy, wait,” he says carefully.

Teddy shakes his head, turning his gaze away from his boyfriend and trying hopelessly to stem the tears.

“Teddy,” Billy says again, approaching him and grabbing his hand.  “Look, I’m not – I’m not doing this for the reasons you think I am.  I’m not taking the easy way out here, Teddy.  If I was looking at a gun to the head or this, they wouldn’t be even close to the same thing.  I’m doing what we signed up to do when we formed this team.  I’m saving lives, Teddy.  Even if it costs my own.  That’s a sacrifice I’m willing to pay for these innocent people.”

Teddy nods, giving Billy’s hand a squeeze.   “Okay – okay, I trust you.  If – if you can, though, please stay alive.”

“I will,” Billy says.  “I _want_ to.”

“Good,” Teddy says, and he pulls Billy in for a quick, tight hug before letting him go.  “Alright – go, Wiccan.  Save these people.”

Billy gives him a salute before flying off, landing haphazardly before the chaotic force-field that encases the bomb.  Magic might not work on the bomb while it’s protected, but it can certainly work on the force-field.  With as much strength and skill as he can muster, Billy presses glowing hands against the edge of the transparent shield, eyes squeezed shut as he concentrates on a spell.

Teddy watches fearfully for a moment before Kate calls them to assemble, giving them orders that could still spare lives should Billy fail.

But Billy doesn’t fail.  He loses strength, and he looks close to collapsing, but somehow he makes it through the force-field.  Once past that, he tries magic on the bomb again, but it’s clear it doesn’t work.  Instead, he is forced to rely on his technical knowledge and kneels before it to start examining what he’s working with.

Tommy, David, and America get people to safety while Kate, Noh-varr, and Teddy fight the opposition.  Each second that ticks by sends another wave of worry through Teddy, but he keeps going, desperate to save just as many lives as Billy wants them to.

Things get chaotic in the end, and Teddy’s throat closes as he throws a knockout punch, fully prepared for Billy to miss his mark and set the bomb off.  However, just as Teddy winces in anticipation, the buzzing of electricity and tension in the room dissipates, and he looks to find Billy shooting upward triumphantly, shouting that he’s successfully disarmed the weapon.

“Excellent,” Kate replies.  “Because we’ve bagged all the criminals.”

Without hesitation, Teddy flies upward to meet Billy mid-air and throws his arms with force around his boyfriend, pulling him close.

“That was terrifying,” Teddy breathes.  “But incredible job, Bee.  I’m so proud of you – for – for everything.”

“Thank you, Teddy,” Billy sighs, leaning his forehead against Teddy’s.  “That means the world.”

_

**DAYS 44 – 72**

As time progresses, things start to make sense.

Billy no longer feels lost or misguided in his depression.  He meets with his therapist weekly, then bi-weekly.  He continues taking his medication every day, and he doesn’t hesitate to tell his friends and family when he’s having a bad day.  In addition, he does seek out Wanda a handful of times for advice, asking her how she handles everything so well without so much treatment.  She gives him tips and tricks, and he tries them, and they work.

His friends and family still crowd, but eventually his parents and most of the team back off, their faith in Billy fully restored.

Teddy and Loki are different story, however.

Billy has to pull Teddy aside after a date and explain to him some things.  They sit in the front of Billy’s car, and Billy tries desperately to think of how to put things in a way Teddy will understand.

“I – I know you’re concerned.  You’ve had every right to be, but Teddy – I’m afraid you’re going to give yourself an aneurysm from being so worried all the time.”  Billy sighs and runs his fingers through his hair.

“Billy, I’m sorry,” Teddy says immediately, understanding.

“Don’t be sorry,” Billy says, holding up a hand.  “I know where you’re coming from, and it’s fine.  I just want you to understand that I’m actually doing really well.  My meds are working, therapy is great, and I’m happy, Teddy – I really am.  I’m all grown up, Tee.”

He cracks a smile, laughing slightly, and Teddy joins him.

With a noise of contentment, he grabs Teddy’s hand and entwines their fingers.

“I’m going to be okay.  I know how to deal with everything now, and believe me – I’ll tell you when things are bad and when I need you.”

“I trust you,” Teddy says, nodding.  “I’ll try to get off your back.”

Billy smiles.  “It’s all I ask,” he says, before leaning in for a kiss.

Loki is a little bit harder, mostly because he’s not entirely worried about Billy, but also because he’s projecting.  He hasn’t really been the same since things fell apart with the All-Mother, and Billy’s actually grown to be concerned about Loki, as he’s continually reserved and uninterested with – well, life.

After a small comment about Billy’s self-destructive behavior, Billy can’t help but have the conversation right in that moment, even though they’re currently working a mission.

“Loki,” Billy starts seriously.  “I understand it wasn’t easy having to save me three times, but you need to realize – I’m okay.  I’ve got all these new skills, Loke, and I can handle myself.”

Loki purses his lips, looking Billy up and down.  “I don’t know – “

“I do,” Billy says, “and I’m actually worried about _you_.”

Loki blinks, surprised.

“I know things haven’t been easy for you,” Billy says quietly.  “And I know you’ve never really been a big fan of yourself.  I just don’t want you to try and take the same road, Loki.  You’re trying so hard to change your fate, and you deserve to win this war.”

Loki rubs the back of his neck, entirely unsure what to say.

“I’ll give you my therapist’s number,” Billy says, lowering his voice and leaning in.

Loki tries to reject it, but eventually accepts.  A week later, Billy isn’t surprised to see Loki waiting outside his therapist’s office when he’s finished with an appointment.  When he stays seated as Billy passes, it becomes clear that Loki’s not there for his friend, but for his own hour of self-discovery.

It’s been quite the journey so far, and it hasn’t been easy, but for the first time in a long time, Billy’s optimistic.  For the first time in a long time, he is fully aware of how much love and support he has.  For the first time in a long time, he has hope.


End file.
